Our First Week

Harper-I can’t believe you are already one week old!!  Happy one week birthday as of yesterday!  What a week of learning this has been for all of us.  Just getting to know each other has been so special.  It has been a complete godsend for Josh and my mom to both be here, too.  They have been ah-mazing.  I truly don’t know how a single mom could ever survive these first few days.  It is no secret that newborns can be tough!  Especially since I am on bed rest-there are days that have been really hard.  The blood loss has made me even more tired than I would normally feel.  But, so far we’ve had only one real ‘night from hell.’  I think those ‘hell’ nights are necessary though-makes you really appreciate all the other nights!  And realize that you can DO lack of sleep-anything is better than the horrible sound of an inconsolable baby.  It is a heartbreaking feeling.  Once again, thank the heavens for my calm hubby.  Nothing rattles that guy! :-) Obviously it is worth every yawn and dark circle under our eyes though!  Really really really. 

Our little girl has already changed a lot during this first week.  Both looking and acting so different every day!  She is becoming much more alert, and loves to just look around, squirm around, and take in the world around her.  She’s pretty much mastered the art of nursing too-phew!!  It took us a few days to figure each other out and get into just the right position-but now we’re both pretty in sync and she just can’t get enough!!  I never thought I’d be so interested in pee, poop, and lactation...but with a newborn, these events are cause for lots of excitement!  It’s the best feeling to see/know that ‘all systems are go‘ each day.    

Also, shoutout to everyone who has been so supportive of us this last week.  We appreciate every call and text!  Like I said, I have been exhausted with the lack of sleep plus blood loss, so it has been difficult to respond and I hope you understand!  My phone has been permanently on silent since last Friday.  But when I do look at my phone, I love getting the supportive text messages and voicemails.  Thank you all soooo much, your love means the world to us!!  In return: some pics of our first week together :-)

Baby and Mommy

Harper's First Bath

Sweet Little One

 

Meeting Great Grandma

Gramma B!

Baby Smiles!

Harper and Declan!

Auntie Rachel

Harper and Super Daddy

The Birth of Harper Jane Herbert

Friday, May 18th, 2012

5:30am - Well, I did not go into labor on my own on Thursday night.  Darn.  I was pretty discouraged by this when I woke up at 5:30.  Oh well, it was time to get ready for the day and head to the birth center.  I woke up and ate some breakfast-as much as I could because I was so nervous!  I also laid down on the floor next to my dog, Mia.  I know this is silly, but it is definitely something I will never forget.  She could sense something was going on, and just snuggled with me on the floor and comforted me.  Thanks, Mia :-)

7:00am - We arrived at Dar a Luz and met with Abigail.  Since I had not gone into labor on my own, I was semi-convinced that maybe I was just incontinent and had lost all bladder control!  Abigail thought this was hilarious and that I was definitely leaking fluid.  She had me do a test anyway, and the Ph strip immediately turned bright blue!  Bright blue = amniotic fluid.  Okay, time to get going then!  Since I had basically been officially leaking since about 12:30 the day before, we had 24 hours to get active labor started.  Meaning by 12:30 today I needed to be in active labor or else I would have to be admitted to the hospital-no pressure or anything.  Abigail checked my dilation and I was about 4-5cm.  She got me on the breast pump to ramp up my contractions.  I put the pump up to the highest intensity and the contractions started right away.  After 30 minutes on the pump, Abigail sent us out for a hefty one hour walk to keep the contractions coming.

10:00am - Got back to the birth center after our walk.  Contractions were definitely consistent, but just not strong enough and weren’t necessarily ‘sticking.’  As soon as I stopped walking, they would both slow down and also die down in intensity.  So, Abigail sent us out once more for another hour walk.  Oh boy!

11:00am - Got back from the second walk.  Feeling not so good!  Pretty worn out, and the contractions were more intense...but still not good enough to really be active labor.  We took a break for a couple of minutes.  Abigail suggested we eat something and leisurely continue to walk around the birth center.  At 12:30 she would check me again, if I still had not dilated anymore, she would manually completely break my water to try and get into active labor.  Luckily, Dr. Lehman at UNM had agreed to give us 28 hours, until 4:30, to get into active labor before I had to be admitted.  So, my mom came to the birth center with some lunch for us.  We ate and continued to stroll around. 

12:30pm - Time to get checked again.  Never very pleasant.  My mom decided to wait in the lobby to hear what my progress was.  Unfortunately, I was still only at about 4-5cm.  Ugh.  So, time for plan B (or C, or whatever plan we were on now).  I agreed to let Abigail manually break the amniotic sac.  This was quick and painless.  My mom left and we told her we’d be in touch.  At this point I was really beginning to lose hope.  I was dreading the news that we’d have to go to the hospital.  Thank goodness, this did not happen.  About 5 minutes after my mom left, I went full throttle into active labor contractions.  I was doubled over with pain almost immediately.  The difference between what I was feeling in the morning compared to NOW was incredible.  Abigail admitted us to one of the birth rooms at Dar a Luz so I could continue to labor in there.  She said she’d be back at 2:00 to check my progress.

12:30 - 2:00pm - For the next hour and a half, I writhed around in pain on the bed in the birthing room.  The pain was consuming.  I was unable to speak or walk or have any kind of control during contractions.  Not to mention, the contractions were coming one right after the other with no break in between.  This was not what I was expecting this “early” in my labor!  I did my very best to utilize the Blissborn techniques I had practiced.  It was really hard.  REALLY hard.  But, looking back, these techniques got me through this intense hour and a half period.  I was in a trancelike state.  Josh said that when I would open my eyes, I was definitely ‘not there,’ just looking hazily looking through him.  He attempted to comfort me with the partner work we had done with Blissborn, but I needed complete silence and no touching to focus and disassociate myself from the pain.  I would brush off any of his touches or words.  The only thing I said to him in this hour and a half was “wet washcloth.”  Which was the one outside stimulation that was comforting to me.  The internal monologue in my head was basically all Blissborn-telling myself it’s only temporary, telling my body to open and relax, using imagery of contractions massaging the baby out of the birth canal.  It was still very painful, unbearable and uncontrollable, but these techniques got me through.  

2:00pm - Enter Abigail.  Time to get checked.  Oh noooo-the last thing I wanted during this kind of pain is someone’s hand up inside of me!  Even worse, I was dreading bad news of slow progression.  I was panicking in my head at this point-if I’m only 6 cm or something I’m going to die, I can’t go on like this for any more serious length of time.  She asked Josh how I was doing, and he told her in a very unsure voice that he thought I was doing okay.  He really had no idea though, since the only words I had said to him were “wet washcloth!”  I first informed her that I was ready to get in the tub, remembering the healing and soothing powers of water.  She started filling it up and then came over to check me.  “Wow,” she said.  “How far dilated is she,” Josh asked.  “I don’t want to know,” I said, feeling that if I heard a number it would somehow psyche me out.  “You’re about to have this baby,” she said, “she’s 9 cm!”  Holy crap!  Talk about fast and furious!!  I told her that I was feeling the need to push.  She immediately called her birth assistant, Alyssa, to come in, but told Josh that she lived an hour away so there was no way she would make it in time.  She called her emergency backup, Lauren, to come in as well.  I remember her saying to Josh how surprised she was that I had progressed so far.  Since I wasn’t screaming or moaning or making any kind of noise at all, she was completely shocked.  I got in the tub and began the transition phase of pushing.  It’s absolutely amazing how the body just knows what to do.  The urge to push is unstoppable, primal, and as much as it hurts, it almost feels good.  It also feels terrible, but something about it is somehow ‘good.’  I yelled, and made noises I didn’t even know could come out of me.  Abigail and Josh both sat on either side of me outside of the tub coaching me.  Abigail encouraging me, saying YES bear down into that, and Josh telling me how good I was doing and how soon Harper was going to be here.  Around 3:00 Harper began crowning-aka: the ring of fire phase.  Once again, holy crap.  Intense BURNING feeling.  I kept chanting in my head “ICE,” one of the comfort techniques I learned in Blissborn.  I went very slow at this point, pushing her to one threshold of pain, getting ‘used to’ that level of pain, and then pushing again.  When her head finally came out, I yelled “help!”  Abigail told Josh to catch her underwater.

3:27pm- Harper Jane Herbert was BORN!  As I pushed the rest of her body out, Josh gently handed her to me underwater.  I lifted our most beautiful daughter out of the water and put her skin-to-skin on my chest.  Josh and I were immediately drawn-in to her and awestruck.  Wondrous!!  Happy Birth Day!

 
Aftermath- Phew, our little one was born!  However, right after the birth things got a little scary.  After delivering the placenta I began to hemorrhage and could not stop bleeding.  Josh sat next to me on the bed holding Harper as Abigail and the 2 birth assistants went into complete emergency-mode.  I received a shot of Pitocin in my right leg.  Not working.  They gave me a shot of something else in my left leg.  Still nothing.  Abigail was ‘massaging’ my abdomen to stimulate the correct bodily response as I moaned in agony.  Still nothing.  She suspected I had some blood clots in my uterus that weren’t allowing my body to stop the hemorrhage, so she had to reach in and pull them out.  Before she did this, she offered me a narcotic because it was really going to hurt.  At my pain threshold, I took it.  After pushing the equivalent of a mac truck out of there, it still hurt!  Finally, Abigail gave me some kind of enema of pills and this did the trick.  Hallelujah!  Having to make a trip to the hospital AFTER birthing naturally would have been awful.  I lost about 2 liters of blood and was shaky, feverish, and yellow after all the excitement was over.  Just so happy to have our beautiful little girl in this world with us finally!  But, I am currently on complete bed rest for at least 2 weeks in order to recover.  Since I have our little baboo here with us, nesting together in our quiet little cocoon for two weeks actually sounds amazing!  I can’t complain :-)  I have recovered very well so far, and mentally feel amazing.  May 18, 2012 was not at all how we had planned it!  But felt exactly how we wanted it to: May 18, 2012 was the best day of our lives.  Welcome to the world, Harper Jane Herbert!

Awestruck.

She's here!!!  Harper Jane Herbert made her entrance into this world yesterday afternoon, May 18th, at 3:27 p.m.  She weighed a very healthy 7 lbs 1.6 oz and is 21.5 inches long.  We will write more of the incredible birth story later...but wanted to at least make the official announcement and post a couple of precious pictures that we have taken of Harper's first few hours!  What an incredible journey we've all started together.  Josh and I are both completely in love and humbled by our beautiful little creation.

Immediately after birth-phew!  So happy!

Hellloooo, World!

Proudest Daddy!

Yay!

Sweet Baby Yawns!

"There should be a song for women to sing at this moment, or a prayer to recite. But perhaps there is none because there are no words strong enough to name that moment. Like every mother since the first mother, I was overcome and bereft, exalted and ravaged. I had crossed over from girlhood, I beheld myself as an infant in my mother's arms, and caught a glimpse of my own death. I wept without knowing whether I rejoiced or mourned. My mothers and their mothers were with me as I held my baby."

- Anita Diamant, from one of my favorite books, The Red Tent

...So it begins... :-)

Well, well well...how funny things can turn around in just a few short hours.  After my last post, things started to happen. 

I went to the restroom at some point in the morning, and it felt like liquid kept coming out after I was done peeing...hmm?  Thought that was a little strange.  But really didn't dwell on it much and just summed it up to the baby's head most likely pressing down on my poor bladder!  My mom got done with yoga and we decided to have some lunch at Flying Star and then continue on to pedicures.  I had just finished telling her the story about my 'leak' this morning as we were getting up to leave the restaurant.  She agreed with me that it was most likely just baby-on-bladder problems...UNTIL we stood up to leave and another GUSH of fluid came out of me.  Hmm...we were walking to the car and I was exclaiming "oh no-it's happening again!"  I sat down in the passenger seat, and more came out.  My mom is kinda shocked and telling me, "okay, Jane, I don't think this is pee!  Your water is breaking!"  Really?  I stood up, sat back down, and it happened again.  WOW-did NOT see THIS happening!  I called Abigail, and my mom called Josh to meet me at home.  Abigail tried her best to assure me that, no I was not losing my mind along with my bladder control-this definitely sounds like a fluid leak.  She instructed me to go home, and take a nap, because I would most likely go into labor sometime tonight.  Josh met me at home and I followed Abigail's instructions.  She checked in with us a couple more times through the evening and we made a game-plan.  She advised us to take a couple of walks, rest, and get to bed early.  Apparently the premature water-breaking isn't too uncommon, and most likely the body will gear into labor on its own within 24 hours.  In fact, I guess this very situation happened to Josh's mom, Jean, with her last child.  Her water began leaking around 7am and she, like me, just thought she had peed her pants!  She felt nothing for over 12 hours until her body immediately kicked into full-blown labor and she delivered Zoey about 2 hours later.  Abigail agreed that this was most likely exactly what will happen for us.  No contractions/pain until well into active labor-and then BOOM, baby's coming.  Well, if this isn't the case, she told us to meet her at Dar A Luz at 7am to try some of their natural induction techniques. 

Now we rest, meditate, and trust the body's natural instincts.  I was built to do this.  I trust that my body knows what to do from here. 

Hmph!

Okay, I am beginning to think that my body and baby are just not quite ready for labor.  It's been well over 24 hours and it seems that stripping the membranes did not instigate the process.  However, based on all the nasty side effects from the procedure, I am almost positive it did help me progress and dilate and efface even further.  Let's just say there was LOTS of cramping, contractions, and blood...it couldn't have been for nothin'!  I definitely feel different and have had tons of 'labor is near' signs, but I guess I am just not quite there yet!

Truthfully, I am going a little stir crazy.  I had planned to basically work right up until baby arrived, but I'm just too freakin' pregnant.  Last week was unofficially my last week of work.  I haven't gone in since last Thursday.  However, waiting around at home isn't the most relaxing either.  Thankfully, my mom has been in town to entertain me-thanks mom!!  She goes to yoga every morning and then comes over for lunch and we usually go on a walk and then just chill the rest of the afternoon, either at my house or down at my grandma's or running errands, etc.  A few days ago we even had an excursion to the zoo!  I know we are both anxious, but she is doing a great job of keeping me preoccupied.  Josh is doing great, too.  Last night I told him I just HAD to get out of the house.  However, with all the heartburn I've been having, going out to eat for dinner or desert was out of the question.  (My dinner staple the last few nights has pathetically been a bowl of oatmeal!)  Instead, we went on a loooong drive all over Albuquerque.  I don't know why, but I've always loved just getting in the car and driving.  So comforting to me.  We drove all the way across Tramway, down into Corrales, over to Rio Rancho, and did a big loop back to our house.  Windows down, summer breeze, good music, super relaxing. 

Well, apparently there is an urban myth about getting a pedicure and going into labor...I'm going to test this theory out for myself this morning!  Who doesn't like fresh painted toes anyway?  To be continued :-)

Stripping of the Membranes

Definition: a procedure in which an examiner frees the membranes of the amniotic sac from the wall of the lower segment of the uterus in the small area around the cervix.  It is done to stimulate labor.

1:30pm - Appointment at Dar A Luz.  Looking closer and closer to labor, so Abigail stripped my membranes to perhaps give me a jump start.  If the body is truly ready for labor, stripping the membranes can do the trick.  However, if you still need a little more time, it will do nothing.  Procedure was a little painful, but nothing too bad.

2:30pm - Post-appointment Josh drove me to my grandma's to meet up with my mom.  We've all decided that at this point, I should no longer be driving.  Cramping and contractions began to be pretty intense.  Really not feeling well, and lots of bleeding.  Had to take off my jeans and put on some of my mom's 'comfy pants.'

3:30pm - Still feeling pretty funky.  My mom suggested maybe we both go back up to my house so I could just get into my own bed and get some rest.  I agreed.  Completely conked out on the car ride up to my house.  Made it home, put on a comfy dress and curled up in bed.  Fell asleep for about an hour or so.

5:30pm - Josh is home from work-yay :-)  Contractions continue, but have cooled off from being so intense.  We watched the season finale of How I Met Your Mother from last night, and then Josh made dinner.  Started having awful heartburn and could barely eat!!  Darn, I hate that.

7:30pm - More relaxing and waiting.  We'll see if this 'stripping the membranes' business actually gets this baby moving!  It can usually take up to 24 hours or so for things to start progressing.  We shall see!


  

What's Up Week 39!

Alright!  We've made it to the 39th week!  Wow!  With all my family history stuff, I truly did not think I would make it this far.  But, the more baking time the baby has, the better.  I have to keep reminding myself of this, as I am trying my verrry best to be patient.  I have had so many signs that labor is nearing-just don't know how near!  However, I have to believe what everyone keeps telling me which is-"trust me, you'll KNOW when you're in labor."  Okay, okay!  Last night was yet another evening where I was thinking "this could be it"...but it wasn't...sorry for those of you betting on a Mother's Day baby!!  We were too!  My contractions have frequently been consistent enough that it really makes me wonder...but truly, they have not been painful enough to be labor.  At least from what everyone in this history of mothers says!  I'm sure ALL those mamas are not lying-when I'm in labor, the pain will be so distinct, there will be NO question as to what's going on.

Luckily, this weekend was filled with lots of entertainment to keep Josh and I preoccupied.  Graduation parties, birthday parties, and Mother's Day kept us very busy.  Not to mention all the nesting that is going on at our house.  We were cleaning machines yesterday!

Today is Kyle Brunton's first birthday-Happy Birthday Kyle!!!  We love you!!!!!  I can not believe his birth was a year ago.  Time has just flown by.  Seeing how easy-going Tom and Rachel have been this past year raising their little boy definitely gave Josh and I the confidence to take the plunge into parenthood.  Rachel has defied the picture of the over-worked, stressed-out, and frazzled mom that I had in my head.  She has been the complete opposite.  Glowing, carefree, and happy!  Thanks, Rachel, for being such a good mommy example!  You've done perfectly in Kyle's first year-you're amazing!

Kyle and Tom!  Happy First Birthday!

Tara and Declan!  Another portrait of a glowing, carefree, and HAPPY mommy!  My friends epitomize what motherhood should be like.  Love you guys.  I can't wait to join you!

Josh and I also celebrated Mother's Day with our families yesterday with a delicious brunch at Slate Street Cafe.  Yum, yum, yum and wonderful company.  Of course, our moms are pretty kick-ass, too!!  They raised us to be the cool human beings that we are today.  I have to say, they both did an awesome job.  We love you.

Zoey, Jean, and Josh

Me, Mom, and Aunt Mary

Also, shout-out to all of our loved ones who are anxiously awaiting the good news of Harper's birth!  We promise we will keep you all updated with any action that happens!  Trust me when I say we are 'anxiously awaiting' with y'all!  We can't wait to welcome Harper into this world, and share her with all the people who have already shown her so much love!  xoxoxoxox

Waiting Game :-)

For a while now I've had this intuition that Harper would be born during the 38th week of pregnancy.  Probably because, I love the number 8 and also because, according to my mom, I was also born in the 38th week of pregnancy.  There are a few days left, so I guess we'll see if my motherly intuition was correct!  However, my intuition about due dates has been historically terrible!!  I have been hilariously 'way off' with my guesses on my friends' due dates.  In fact, I think I was in almost LAST PLACE in my friend Tara's baby pool because my guess was SOOOO wrong!  So I doubt I'll actually have any good instincts about my own due date either :-)  I guess we'll see!!!

However, we did have our regular check-up at the birth center yesterday and it seems that things are progressing.  YES!  I've been having tons of contractions-just nothing 'real.'  But, I know this is my body preparing for labor, so every time they happen I do get really excited.  And unfortunately the contractions have been just painful enough that it is difficult for me to sleep.  Well, the dull pain on top of the excitement keeps me awake :-)  I was hesitant to let Abigail do a cervical exam because I didn't want to get overly eager or disappointed depending on what my 'stats' were...but curiosity got the best of me and I let her do it!  To my relief, my body is definitely getting ready.  I am dilating, almost completely effaced, and the baby's head is very low according to our midwife.  Hallelujah!  I was glad to know that the contractions that I had been feeling were at least DOING something productive.

As many mamas had warned me before, this last stretch can be pretty rough.  It's true!  I think it is a biological way of preparing you to go through anything to get the baby out.  Although not HORRIBLE, a lot of the sensations remind me of bad menstrual symptoms...so it's not something that you can't cope with, but day after day...let's just say you become READY for baby to get here, no matter what!  Don't worry, we will keep you all posted with any exciting new progressions.  But right now, we're still just patiently playing the waiting game :-)

38 Weeks!

38 weeks today!  What can I say-I am READY.  Josh is too.  Just thinking thoughts of relaxation, opening, stretching, thinning-all the lovely sensations that lead to LABOR!  In my heart, I know Harper will come in her own time, when SHE is ready.  But whenever that is, so are we!

In other news, I made it through the beautiful Thompson wedding!  Yay!  A big landmark I had been looking forward to, and SO glad I was able to be there, participate, and have fun!  The whole wedding was beautiful.  Very true to Devon's style--vintage decor with a lock and key theme, "The Keys to Marriage".  I read a poem during the ceremony called "The Key to Love."  So fitting, and very sweet.  Here are the words:

"The key to love is understanding ...
The ability to comprehend not only the spoken word,
but those unspoken gestures,
the little things that say so much by themselves.

The key to love is sharing ...
Facing your good fortunes as well as the bad, together;
both conquering problems, forever searching for ways
to intensify your happiness.

The key to love is giving ...
without thought of return,
but with the hope of just a simple smile,
and by giving in but never giving up.

The key to love is respect ...
realizing that you are two separate people, with different ideas;
that you don't belong to each other,
that you belong with each other, and share a mutual bond.

The key to love is inside us all ...
It takes time and patience to unlock all the ingredients
that will take you to its threshold;
it is the continual learning process that demands a lot of work ...
but the rewards are more than worth the effort ...
and that is the key to love."

I held it together, and didn't even cry!  Go me :-D

Here are some pics from the wonderful weekend:

Wedding Rehearsal at Hotel Andaluz

Rehearsal Dinner at Casa de Thompson

The Beautiful Bride to Be, MOH, and Pregnant Lady!

Post Ceremony

Loves

Devon was stunnnning!

It's just not a Pi Phi Wedding without Monifa... :-)

xoxo

Baby Pool!

Okay, loved ones, check out our fun baby pool for Harper!  Vote on when she'll be born, what color hair she will have, how much she will weigh, etc.  A couple of our friends did this for their baby, and it's just fun to see everyone's guesses!  Won't be too long before we meet her, so place ya bets soon!  Only 16 days until her due date!!  Wahoo ;-D

bebepool.com/janekherbert

Great Day!

Sooo...after my last post, we finally did get a call from our midwife, and the ultrasound doc said that we needed another ultrasound to follow up on what appeared to be 'excess fluid in the baby's bowels.'  Of course, we were not delighted to hear yet ANOTHER possible scare, but Melanie did her best to assure me that it was most likely nothing.  However, I must say that "Dr. Google" is not my friend...after lots of googling 'excess fluid in bowels' I felt completely terrified.  Emergency surgeries, down syndrome, and cystic fibrosis were all coming up in the searches....YIKES!  But, I did my very best to just let go, think positive, and reassure myself that Harper is absolutely perfect and healthy.  It was a difficult task-but I did my best.  So, after three days of waiting, we finally had our follow up today.  PHEW-great news!  Everything looked fine!  AND Harper was not even measuring small!!  Apparently, oftentimes  babies can just position themselves kinda funky during the last trimester which makes them measure smaller.  According to the measurements today, Harper is definitely on target.  She was measuring right at 37 weeks 4 days, and will weigh somewhere between 6-8 pounds.  The ultrasound tech today was actually really fun and did lots to make us laugh and feel comfortable.  She said, "Look at those cheeks!  That is NOT a 5 pound baby!"  Yay!  When the doc came in to evaluate, he even said she had 'beautiful kidneys' (ha!), eyelashes, and a lil' hair! 

Now, after these last few anxieties put to rest, I feel like we can really just be excited now.  No more health scares, please!  Tomorrow is the rehearsal dinner for Devon's wedding-fun!  Saturday is THE wedding, and I'm pretty confident that I will not have the baby between now and then :-)  Also, more good news, my mom is arriving in Albuquerque on Saturday to make sure she's here for Harper's entrance into the world.  She just couldn't wait any longer, and I don't blame her!  Last, I guess Sunday is supposed to be the biggest full moon of the year or something...so, lots of our friends are saying that Sunday COULD be the day to go!  I guess we'll see if that myth has any truth to it by the end of the weekend :-)  Cheers to good news, happy events, and bright futures-hoooray!