The Edge of Motherhood

Harper, Josh, and I have survived another week!  Our baby girl is two weeks old :-)    

Truthfully, I have had absolutely zero experience with actually caring for a baby before Harper’s arrival.  So, needless to say, these past two weeks has been a HUGE learning experience for me!  As I’ve said before, Josh is my rock.  My mom, too.  As a new mom, it’s hard not to jump at every little squeak and squirm.  I just want more than anything for our baby to be happy, comfortable, healthy, and content at all times.  I do my best not to stress over every little incident (i.e. “she hasn’t pooped in 12 hours!” or “did she just spit up everything she just ate?!”), but new mommyhood is...well...new!  My mom and Josh have been great about calming my neurosis, and assuring me everything is ‘normal.’  Thankfully, after two weeks of learning about baby, I am starting to relax a little more.  And, in all reality, Harper is a great baby!  She is starting to stay awake more during the day and becoming less nocturnal (yay!).  And when she is awake, she is generally very alert and relaxed.  She nurses well and is growing like a champ (she already weights 8 lbs. 3 oz!).  She rarely cries - she gets by with little grunts and squeaks to get her needs met!  I am VERY thankful for these things.  Also, we think she’s the cutest little thing we’ve ever laid eyes on.  Our love for her is just impossible!

As far as my recovery goes, I am feeling MUCH better than I was even a few days ago.  I am finally feeling up for visitors, and am ready to get out of the damn house!  I am officially off bed rest as of this past Friday, so I’ve been trying to make at least one outing a day to keep my sanity.  So far, I’ve gone for a drive with Josh, taken a trip to Target, and gotten a pedicure with mom.  Another note on new mommyhood-emotions post pregnancy are CRRRAZY!  I never really felt the out-of-control emotions everyone talks about DURING pregnancy, but I have definitely experienced them afterwards!  Happy or sad feelings can get the tears flowing.  Sometimes it just feels like my heart is going to burst, and I can’t even distinguish what emotion I’m feeling-happy or sad...it’s just love.  I think that’s motherhood :-)  But, as I am greatly recovered physically this second week, I also feel emotionally recovered as well.  My hormones have definitely started to level out and the crazy crying spells have begun to dwindle.

Although, Josh goes back to work tomorrow!  Not sure if I’ll be able to keep my emotions in check for that!  This last two weeks of pure family time has been so incredible.  I am seriously thankful for this time.  I know most families do not get the luxury of dad being home for such a long stint.  It really has been blissful and wonderful having him here, and I really will miss him after his return to work.  Hopefully we can manage alright for the 8 hours a day without his calm and loving energy-we love you, Josh!